AN ORGY OF HEAD-HOPPING
The last article talked about passivity from big name authors. In it I mentioned briefly that I also noticed, because of the use of began to by one author, his use of too much head-hopping. The head-hopping was annoying but nothing that stopped the story.
I just read what should’ve been an outstanding novel. It was written by one of my favorite current authors and a personal friend. He’s someone I’ve looked up to because he’s been one of the cleanest writers I’ve ever known.
Something’s changed.
His last novel was a collaboration, so not only did the subject matter disappoint me, but the writing quality lagged his usual high standards. I figured that was the influence of the co-author. Now, after reading his latest regular feature, I’m not so sure.
He’s always written in solid third-person, past tense. His grammar and syntax have been flawless, some of the cleanest I’ve ever seen. Then I eagerly got hold of his latest offering. It didn’t take long for the shock to set in at the downturn of quality.
Once I finished the novel, I had to think hard about what I’d just read. I loved the story and premise. I loved the science and conjecture behind it. However, the way it was put together had a lot to be desired. To put it bluntly, the story was an orgy of head-hopping.
The author made no pretense, whatsoever, of keeping the story in any one character’s point of view. When each scene commenced, it started with one character. As soon as another character did something, he’d pop right into their head, at will, with no regard to who was driving the scene. By the time the scene was over, it might or might not have switched back to the character that started it. Several main characters drove the story, but every time someone else came along or did something, pow! Right into their head.
The story lost a lot of impact. First, because there were so many characters, he got into all of their heads, at will. Second, there were at least six main characters, four main good guys and two main bad guys and a few more semi-major characters. There were at least thirty, maybe more POV characters total. That’s a lot to keep track of!
Could you get an emotional investment in that many characters? Could you keep track of that many? Somehow, I managed, but it was weak and my enjoyment of the story lost a lot of impact because I was so disappointed with the degradation of the writing. At times, I thought I was reading a novel but another author that I’ve consistently slammed for being such an amateurish writer that still keeps getting published.
I must emphasize that I have no issue at all with lots of characters in a story. Any story of scope is going to encounter a multitude of characters. My problem is too many POV characters. You can’t get into everyone’s head just because they’re there!
Is the publishing world just going for the lowest common denominator? From what I gathered at the last writer’s conference, every agent I talked to would still reject stories like this in a heartbeat from a first-time author. Yet here we are again. Another established author, throwing away all the good habits that make stories better and going for this mishmash and thinking it will sell better. Hell, maybe I’m wrong!
I’ve read the reviews so far. Funny thing is, most people are slamming him for the science and routine action rather than the weak characters, though I found several that said there were too many characters and they were glad he killed a few of them off so they wouldn’t have to hear from them again, but then complained when he added two more to take their place.
Apparently, head-hopping is perfectly okay, as long as you are not a first-time writer!
Personally, I think it sucks!
Call me the champion for stopping this crap before it takes over. It’s shoddy writing. Next thing you know, spelling errors will be okay because people only scan the pages anyway. Right?
Happy writing!!!
PASSIVITY SEEMS TO BE A TREND LATELY
Maybe it’s something in the water. Maybe editors are getting lazy, or their well-established authors are refusing to bend. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I read one to two books a week, I see more of it. Being not only a writer but a voracious reader, I’m constantly exposed to the word almost from the moment I wake up until I go to bed each day. Of course, there’s a break when I go to work, but even there, I’m exposed to words all day.
How many times have I mentioned how much the phrases began to and started to bug me? I tried to go back so I could reference past articles and gave up when I found I’d mentioned those phrases in at least two of them and they weren’t even the main article I was looking for. The point is, those two phrases are very passive and vague. For those of you new to my site, both phrases bug me because in my mind, either you did or you didn’t. Either they did or they didn’t (in third person). Why beat around the bush and waste words?
Elaine started to walk to the door. No! Elaine walked to the door. Joe began to climb the stairs. No! Joe climbed the stairs. The only time they would start to (or begin to) is if they’re interrupted before they get there, or before they even “start/begin” walking/climbing there. Most of the time, when I see those phrases, the author, 99% of the time, lets them get to that door or up those stairs and never interrupts a thing.
I’ll name names this time. I just read Zero Hour by Clive Cussler and his co-author Graham Brown. It was a decent story and I would’ve loved it except for one extremely annoying quirk that made a huge difference. The authors used began to so much that I started counting them during the prologue (and never stopped). There, I just found a legitimate use of the word started. I don’t mind the occasional use of either word. They’re both legitimate words in our language, but they need to be used appropriately, occasionally and in context.
The prologue had so many begans, I could’ve eliminated a good-sized paragraph’s worth of wasted words. That trend continued throughout the entire book. By the time I hit the end, instead of enjoying the story as much as I usually do, I developed a habit of counting begans per page/per chapter. If I’d eliminated all of them in the book, I could’ve deleted a short chapter’s worth of text. Literally.
I’ve never seen a Cussler book marred by such bad editing and on top of that, this trend made me look for other flaws I don’t normally worry about, like head-hopping and other passive phrasing, etc.
What is the writing world coming to?
Don’t think I’m just picking on one of my writing heroes.
I just read Inferno, by Dan Brown. Loved it. A lot of people hate him, maybe for his stance on the Catholic Church, maybe sour grapes, or maybe for his own set of writing quirks. I’ve noticed plenty of flaws, but my only real beef with this one, outside of a few minor plot quibbles, was that after the barrage of began to’s in Zero Hour, I was on the lookout for them in Inferno.
Mr. Brown used them more than he needed to. I winced a few times, but at least I didn’t resort to counting them per page. Once again, he became passive in spots. A little passive is okay. Speaking of which, has anyone noticed the title of this article? Did you all catch the passivity? There are no began to’s or started to’s in it, but what else might be passive? What words, phrases?
If any of you are paying attention, I’ll let you tell me in feedback.
In the meantime, happy writing!
On another note, I recently sent out a batch of pitch letters and packages from positive responses I received at the most recent Las Vegas Writer’s Conference. I received my first response back today (a very nice one, I might add, but still…). I’m now at 662 rejections and counting!
ANDRE NORTON – ANOTHER WRITING HERO
It was the early 70’s when I was stationed at Torrejon Air Base in Spain that I discovered Andre Norton. At that time, they must’ve done a reprint of her Captain Jellico novels under the pen name Andrew North. I easily became hooked on those space adventures.
From there, I discovered her real name, Andre Norton, (actually Alice Mary Norton). Turns out that in the Stars & Stripes bookstore, there were plenty of titles in the fantasy section under her real name also. This was around the time I made my first ill-fated attempt at a story, bought the typewriter and made it through three quarters of a page of my Star Trek satire. At least it was science fiction!
Maybe it was the simplicity, the plotting, or the way she drew the worlds, but I always liked the Captain Jellico series the best. Though I moved on to the Witch World, at that stage of my life, I could more relate to space adventures, probably because of my love of all things icky bug. However, there was no mistaking Andre’s signature style, her plotting, and her voice. It’s something I’ve carried into my own writing.
I probably have been doing it subconsciously, but her protagonist always coming out on top is something that drew me. Her generally positive outcomes, despite overwhelming odds, is another aspect I use.
Despite the male name Andrew North and the gender-neutral Andre Norton, I picked up pretty quick that this author was female. Though information was extremely hard to come by back in the early 70’s, I found a brief bio somewhere and discovered that Andrew/Andre was indeed a female author. Being a male, did this turn me off, make me stop reading her work, make me move on to other “less girly” stories?
No!
I have and always will be a gender neutral reader. Of course, I have no interest in reading girly romances. Of course, that’s not my genre. Andre didn’t write in that style at all. In the Captain Jellico series, I don’t recall any romance at all. They were pure adventure, one of my favorite genres. Her Witch World series may have had a bit, but they weren’t Harlequin Romances!
Was I surprised to learn Andre was a female? Not really. Was I surprised to discover her stories weren’t full of girly romance? Maybe a little, in my naiveté. One thing I’ve learned is not to judge. If I were that biased, I would’ve missed out on so many wonderful authors like Carol Davis Luce, Rhondi Vilott Salsitz (Elizabeth Forrest), J.A. Jance, Kathy Reichs, Catherine Coulter, and on occasion Patricia Cornwell among others.
Do those authors leak in a bit of girly romance? Sure they do, but do they focus on it? No, their stories are wonderful adventures, icky bug, mysteries, thrillers that happen to have a bit of romance in them, sometimes. No Harlequin Romances.
Andre Norton, besides all her other great qualities, taught me another great lesson, like the pen name Carolyn Keene of Nancy Drew fame. You can’t judge an author by their gender.
Andre Norton, the self-described “Old fashioned storyteller” set the bar very high. She had a great influence on me, another late-blooming story teller. I can only aspire to do the same.
Happy writing.
WATCH THOSE STEREOTYPES
After the recent public meltdown of southern chef Paula Deen, I figured it was time to talk about a subject I’ve had brewing for a while. My first thought was to slam you, the reader, with a bunch of racially offensive stereotypes including the one that got her in so much trouble. In my case, it was to make a point. Now that you have the image in your head and can pick your offensive phrase, let’s get to the real subject of this article.
It doesn’t take much to slap someone in the face with a blatant stereotype, either for comical or hurtful effect. In this increasingly politically correct world, it is easy to offend. It used to be stand-up comics threw offensive stereotypes around with abandon and people laughed and had a great time (or didn’t). However, times have changed. You can’t do that anymore unless you are making fun of your own race and even then, because of that politically correct climate dominating us, it’s probably not such a great idea. On the other hand, there’s no shortage of ignorant or just plain hateful bigots that’ll not hesitate to use stereotypes at every opportunity to show their supposed superiority to someone else, failing to note that they’re really no better. In fact, they show their inferiority by acting in such fashion.
Using stereotypes for effect in a story can be a dicey path, and must be done with care and sensitivity to those who are the targets. Context.
Notice how I’m dancing around and not actually describing any of the biggies. My point is that I don’t need to, as you all know them, or should. What you may not know are many stereotypes that people take for granted in everyday life. As a writer, these subtle things must be thought about before you go and put them into words and offend people without even knowing you’ve done so.
A glaring example I’ve seen time and time again, less in the past few years, is assuming Witches (Wiccans) and most other Pagans worship the Devil. Many, especially devout Christians assume these groups worship old Set because they use pentacles (pentagrams) in their symbology. Wrong answer! To most Pagan religions, the Devil is a Christian thing and doesn’t even exist.
Another more subtle stereotype, and one of my favorites, is that all musicians are addicted to some form of drugs or alcohol. It’s bad enough when I see actors pretending to be musicians on TV and in film. They act so embarrassing mock-playing a guitar or drums or some other instrument and it makes all real musicians look bad. Then they drop the instrument, smoke a joint, guzzle a bottle of booze, or shoot up and grab that hot chick. Let me tell you something. In the real world, it doesn’t always work that way. Trust me!
Here’s another one for you, except this is a twist. How many times have you seen male writer’s depicted as wearing a smoking jacket and having a pipe in their mouth? How about having a huge crowd at a book signing? Hah!
Then there are the usual all fat people have high-pitched voices (or deep voices) to all convenience store clerks are from the Middle East. All little people are angry.
From blatant and hurtful ethnic stereotypes to the subtle ones in a flash. It’s very easy to see the biggies but easy to slip right over the subtle ones and never know you’ve offended someone. This isn’t about going overboard with political correctness. It’s about doing the research and being sure about what you are writing. Even playing with stereotypes can be used for fun, or tossing them upside down.
How about an Hispanic man who only speaks Gaelic? An obese long-distance runner? Think outside the box.
If you don’t know the group of people you’re writing about, research is the key. Something we all should already know, right?
Happy writing!
FRANKLIN W. DIXON AND CAROLYN KEENE ROCKED MY WORLD
This is going to date me, especially for those under thirty, but I need to give credit where credit is due. Many writers like to spout the classics, especially the “snooty” classics like Hemmingway and Twain and the authors we were forced to read in school. The funny thing (to me) is that I still find most of those classic authors (with the exception of some Twain) a chore and a bore (hey, that rhymes!). They not only didn’t influence me in any way, but I have no desire to emulate them because they’re too literary, and that’s just not my thing.
What really got me into reading for pleasure, instead of work, started when we moved into our house on Prune Street in Lompoc, Calee’fornia back in the late 50’s. We rented the house from people that had a teenage kid with a lot of leftover toys. I inherited some half-made models, other items and a library of first-edition Hardy Boys books. I wish I still had them as they’re going on e-bay for a pretty penny.
Several things grabbed in those volumes. For one, I loved the font. It was large enough to make for easy reading. Then there was the occasional illustration. The real payoff came because the stories were a lot of fun! Though the books were old, they were spooky and intriguing mysteries that kept me glued to the pages. As a little kid of six to my early teens, I struggled at first but became more proficient as I read The Tower Treasure, then The House On The Cliff, The Secret Of The Old Mill, etc. I became obsessed. Over a few years I ran out of titles as I a more proficient reader. I also discovered the companion girls series, Nancy Drew. Though they were almost too “girly,” I soon discovered they had the same elements of mystery and adventure, plus they tided me over until the next Hardy Boys came out. The Hardy Boys were a standard birthday and Christmas gift for years.
Several things came out of these adventures. My reading skills improved immensely. I formed a basic understanding of plot and mystery. I also developed a sense of adventure and working as a team. Of course, it would be forty plus years before I could actually put any of it into words, but this was the foundation for my future writing passion.
As for the two authors, both were pseudonyms. Franklin W Dixon was a pen name used for the Hardy boys. Most of the stories, the most successful and original titles were written by Canadian journalist Leslie McFarlaine. He wrote twenty-one total and did most of them during the depression just to pay bills. He never really liked writing them and only later in life accepted praises for what he accomplished. Other ghost writers took over for the later books which now total in the fifties of the original series, not counting numerous offshoots.
As for Carolyn Keene, there are so many ghost writers, it’s hard to keep track. However, the first one was Mildred Wirt, who became Mildred Wirt Benson. She wrote them for a while before other authors took over.
What is common about both original series is that they followed a pattern. Kids played pseudo-adult roles, got themselves in peril and solved a mystery by banding together. Though there were definitive main characters, there were sidekicks aplenty and they didn’t forge their paths alone. The mystery always started with something that at first seemed almost freakishly bizarre then became more realistic as they heroes solved the case. The titles alone give clues like that. Modern day Scooby Doo does it will far less finesse in basic fifteen minute blocks on the Cartoon Network.
This repeatable pattern, though simple in context, is still the plot of every mystery and thriller novel ever written. The only difference is the complexity, the language and the adultness. It works for kids as well as adults. It grabbed me as a six year old and even as a younger adult when I was stationed in Spain. By younger adult, I mean in my twenties when I was single and working cleaning detail in the headquarters building away from my regular job. I was on a nostalgia kick and decided to go for the good old days away from the Andre Norton, Doc Savage and Ron Goulart stories I’d been reading. I still enjoyed the Hardy Boys, even then!
I was planning on waiting a few weeks to do this tribute, but this morning, my kids had just come back from the wyberry (that’s my word for library for those of you uninitiated into my world) and I mentioned a good series for my grandson. Even though kids nowadays are inundated with hundreds if not thousands of kids books, the original Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series are still being published. Maybe he’ll get inspired if he gives them half a chance.
One disturbing note I learned while doing research for this article. Over the years, the original stories have been, sometimes radically updated, not only to modernize them, but to make them more “politically correct.” I can understand that to a point. However, in some cases, the publishers went off the rails making complete changes in plot and personalities of the characters that had little to do with political correctness, or they went off the deep end in ways that may have more to do with actual political leanings of the powers that be rather than any racial stereotypes of the era when they were originally written. I haven’t read any of the most recent revisions but I’ve heard a few of the mid-period stories are completely different. I only hope these new versions keep the mystery and adventure that influenced me so much. I’m almost afraid to reread the latest versions. Maybe that’s one reason the originals sell for such high prices.
They may have had their faults, but for the times, they inspired this writer. Who inspired you?
Happy writing!
AS AUTHORS WE’RE OBSERVERS
The other day I sat in my chair in the living room. I’d let the three dawgs out. Since we have no dawggie door, we have to manually let them in and out. This time, Angus, the Beagle scratched first to come back in. Sometimes it’s Teddy the male Chihuahua. I became fixated on the random order in which they scratch to come back in. It’s the same when they want to go out. I wondered how I could use that in a story.
I drove to work one morning in light traffic. Though I was head of the pack, some person (couldn’t tell if it was a guy or girl) swerved around me and beat the next light. Then he/she bobbed and weaved between several other cars that had made the next light. How could I incorporate that into a scene?
I’m constantly cataloging little things like this in the back of my mind for future use. The problem right now is that I’m writing a fantasy where situations like this wouldn’t apply. That doesn’t mean there aren’t situations that do. Things like people interactions. After all, the story has to have people or there wouldn’t be one!
I’ll admit I get a lot of people interactions from movies and TV. Those, of course, are passed down from generation to generation of writers who started with someone who observed it with an aunt, uncle, father, mother, spouse, or someone they saw on the street.
I’m sitting in the bank waiting to see a specialist about something. Two other people wait ahead of me. One woman chats on her cell phone when the woman at the counter calls her name. The lady stands, waves her hand at the counter lady, but keeps on talking and doesn’t walk toward her. The counter lady moves toward her. The lady on the phone keeps talking, ignoring her. The bank lady tries to be patient but sees us watching and eventually getting annoyed. Looks like something with potential for a scene!
As writer’s, we’re observers of everything around us. As I’ve mentioned in a past article on inspiration, we draw what inspires us from many places. Besides the big stuff, the little details that add color and spark to a story come from what we see every day, what we can adapt to make our created world more real.
Even in my fantasy world, the interaction of my characters, whether human or Elf or Dwarf or Snorg all have quirks that might be inspired by real people, adapted for the world of Meleena. Then there are creatures with no human traits whatsoever. Pure animal or monster. In those cases, I might pull traits for them out of the air or from other animals I’ve observed somewhere. My license to stretch the reader’s disbelief.
Your story is a reflection of what you observe. It must be realistic enough to draw in your reader (with a few exceptions). The whole point is to take your reader on a journey into the world you created. By adding in details you observe in your daily life and adapt to the story, this world becomes more realistic.
As a writer and eventually author, we’re observers of all things.
Happy writing.
CLIVE CUSSLER – THE INSPIRATION FOR MY GOLD SERIES
Ever since I discovered Raise The Titanic in Hangar Six at Torrejon Air Base, I’ve been a hard-core Clive Cussler fan. During Desert Storm, Torrejon was a support base for troops heading to the theater. Our flight line made room at the end hangar (Hangar Six), two buildings down from the 401st AGE shop where I worked. My wife and daughters volunteered down there to serve coffee and snacks to the soldiers, seamen, marines and even airman as they rested between transport planes coming in and out of that nasty place (mostly burning oil fields in Kuwait).
During lunch breaks, I used to go over there, say hi to them and intermingle with the personnel, and get the latest on what was going on. It wasn’t long before I spotted the growing library of paperbacks, hardbacks and magazines volunteers had set up. In fact, we subsequently added a chunk of our own books and magazines to that library. One day, I spotted the word Titanic in a book title. That was all it took. My lifelong fascination with that ship was enough incentive to grab that book, regardless of genre and I spent every spare moment at home reading it. I’d vaguely heard of Clive Cussler but never tried any of his works. I finished the book in two days and returned it to the rack. Funny, it sat there the rest of the war (or conflict or operation) and nobody even moved it from that spot. I never saw another Cussler novel on the rack or probably would’ve grabbed it also. I was surprised nobody took an interest in it as it was a great story. Then again, most of the troops were not there long enough to read a full novel, and probably didn’t have room in their gear to take a paperback, let alone a hardback with them.
Since that was near the end of our final tour at Torrejon, I wasn’t buying new books at the Stars & Stripes bookstore though I noted a few Cussler novels on the shelves. Once we returned to the states, I devoured every one of his books I could get my hands on, usually from the local Hastings in Altus, Oklahoma or at the book section in the base exchange. They came along at an excruciatingly slow pace.
When I prepared to start my third novel, I’d already developed some writing chops, though looking back, they were still woefully inadequate. However, the basic ability to write a structured novel was there and that’s all I needed. I loved the Dirk Pitt (Cussler’s main hero at the time) adventures enough to start my own series which are to this day called the Gold series. Lusitania Gold started as a nugget of inspiration from Clive’s Raise The Titanic along with his action/adventure sensibility. However, at the time since I’d just finished my first icky bug, The Greenhouse, I wrote in a more adult vein like most of the other thrillers of the day. Clive wrote clean (and still does) and I didn’t hold anything back. Funny enough, when I was already halfway through it, it had eerie parallels (at least in my mind) to a Cussler book that came out called Sahara. I took off early from work and drove down to Fort Worth to meet him one day. I won’t divulge the parallel, but I’d already started writing the path with that thread and was well on the way there when I read Sahara and got to the point in the book where I discovered a vaguely similar twist!
Did it make me go back and change anything? Not at all! Though similar in concept, my story had completely different settings. There’s no doubt the series was inspired by Mr. Cussler, it’s my own, not his. These are my stories not Dirk Pitt adventures! One thing I eventually did, again, partially influenced by Cussler was to clean up the language. That came about for marketability. I wanted all ages and genders to be able to read my stories without parents banning the books because of language, at least in these action/adventure (now called adventure/thriller) novels.
I’m not the only writer inspired or influenced by Clive Cussler. There are plenty of other thriller writers out there with similar styles but with their own unique stories. I’m not afraid of being accused as a clone. There are plenty ahead of me to take the heat.
With so much background, I have to get into why I admire his writing so much. He writes solid third person. He writes easy and fast-moving prose that doesn’t get bogged down in mind-numbing narration. His plots involve the fantastic, bordering on science fiction and barely possible (if not impossible). In other words, you have to suspend your disbelief, but in a fun way. He has lots of likeable characters. His stories are just plain fun.
The downside is that he tends to get corny, he sometimes over-describes his characters and makes them too good to be true. His plots get to be samey. While he stretches boundaries in one way, he writes the same old stuff in another way. He’s like AC/DC in being accused of recording the same album over and over again. He writes the same book over and over again. To me, when I pick up a Clive Cussler novel, I know what I’m going to get. I’ve rarely been disappointed, except occasionally when he’s used one of his co-authors. It’s usually the co-author’s style leaking in that causes that disappointment.
To this day, I still hold him up there as one of my favorite authors of all time. Despite any flaws the man may have, he writes a fun read and I always look forward to his next book.
That’s the mark of a great author.
Next week, I’ll talk about another author that has helped and inspired me. What about you?
MY THOUGHTS ON STEPHEN KING
Since one of the genres I write is icky bug (horror for those of you not familiar with my terminology), one could assume it’s mandatory that I worship at the feet of Stephen King, the “master” of horror. I hate to dash your stereotype, but though I like most of his movies, I’ve only read one of his books all the way through and it bored me to tears!
I find Mr. King a dreadful bore as a writer.
Why, might you ask, do I harbor such harsh opinions for the “god” of all horror, and to many, of all writing? The simple fact is that his work, to me at least, is more character driven than plot driven even if technically, that may not always be true. They’re based on how the characters react to a (usually horrific) situation, rather than how the situation dictates the story for the characters.
The other day we went to see the new Star Trek movie. That notion was reinforced when I saw the extended previews for the new miniseries Under The Dome. Mr. King talked about how he loves to see how people will react a situation. His books bear this out because they are usually pretty thick and wordy, which is what I don’t like about them. They take up a lot of real estate with the internal thoughts of the character and a lot less time moving the plot along. Some of you, as well as many readers (especially his fan base) love that type of writing. For me, I prefer something to happen. I like to know bits and pieces about the character as the story moves along, but I don’t need to know minute details told in long form!
I am not here to tell you, as a writer, to avoid this style of writing. Obviously, it has worked quite well for him. After all, he’s a millionaire. However, there are plenty of icky bug readers that are not fans of Mr. King for the same reason. His plots can move at a snail’s pace. There may be other reasons also, but that is the one that bothers me the most.
Another issue I have with him, though I’ve only seen it in one movie that clearly stands out, is the way he ended The Mist. I have no idea if he ended the book the same way because I never read it. If he approved the movie, I have a feeling it did. I hated that movie more than I can put into words, just because of the ending. For the author to do that to his or her audience just plain sucks. Some people love that type of stuff. I, for one, hate it. I won’t say what happens just in the off chance you haven’t seen the movie. Judge for yourself.
On the other hand, I have great respect for him as a writer. He knows his stuff! He’s a tremendous talent that needs to prove nothing to anyone. He’s written some great stories and his fan base and book sales show he’s struck a nerve with millions of people. His style, though not my favorite, is a big seller. It is a way to go so if you’re inclined for that style, I’d highly recommend his non-fiction book, On Writing.
I like most of his movies (except The Mist). However, I couldn’t get through the books because of his wordy writing. One day, I may break down and try one of his earlier stories like Carrie or something else, even though I’ve leafed through them and saw the same old crap I saw in Insomnia, the one I did read. I like the plot to move.
Would I turn down a chance to meet him, talk to him, pick his brain? Of course not! Would we agree on everything? Probably not. However, I think it would be a lively conversation. Would it ever happen? Not likely. He’s too big, just like Dean Koontz. Other authors I love, I’ve actually met face to face or corresponded with which also tells me something. They’re accessible, he’s not because he’s so popular.
I know of plenty of writers that follow his style (to a lesser degree) and have read a lot of work inspired by him. I’ve been inspired by him but not for his wordy ways, but for his taking on icky bug and making it mainstream. He’s one of the few authors that has done well with it. Probably because he’s made his stories character driven instead of plot driven!
One thing I also admire about his writing, at least from almost every book of his I’ve sampled, is that he writes in solid third person. That’s a huge plus!
Happy writing.
PRESENT AND PAST TENSE
You’ve heard me preach ad-nauseum about how much I hate reading first person narrative in fiction. However, that’s a personal choice and I’m not here to tell you not to write your novel that way. I strongly believe it’s the way to go in an autobiography or in any autobiographical story.
The one thing I and a lot of other readers find very distracting is present tense in any point of view, but especially fiction. This is one reason there are certain authors people avoid. Regardless of whether they write in first or third person, they insist on writing in present tense, maybe with the philosophy that it instills a sense of urgency to the writing, which in my mind (and from feedback I’ve received from other readers), it doesn’t!
I find present tense, used consistently in fiction to be irritating to the extreme. In fact, I can’t even read it, regardless of point of view. It spoils the reading experience. One author in particular has a penchant for that and though she is quite popular with certain readers, she seems to gain an entirely different audience when she reverts to third, or even her first person stories in past tense. There is also an icky bug author I used to like that has a penchant for present tense. He writes third person but the present tense makes for an uncomfortable read and even though I like the stories, it’s a struggle to get through them. Unfortunately, I’ve had to take a pass on his work lately.
Now that I’ve got that off my chest, the real reason for this article is to talk about mixing past and present tense in your story. Let’s forget point of view a moment and look at past and present.
I compile and do the first edit of the Las Vegas Astronomical Society Observer’s Challenge. It’s a non-fiction collection of observer’s notes of astronomical objects Roger Ivester and I and other members of our Challenge group choose to observe each month. Every participant sends in their notes, sometimes along with a drawing or image and I compile them into the report, do the rough and main edit, send the final draft to Roger, he does the final read and looks for anything I miss, then I send it to Rob Lambert. Rob runs through it and looks for anything we miss before posting it on the club web site. Roger and I both post it on our web sites as well.
Since I get the rough data and have to turn it onto the readable draft, I get all varieties of writing quality, mostly very good but still in need of editing. This is where I got the idea for this article because our members notoriously mix present and past tense. I always convert every observation into past tense unless it’s a direct quote in parentheses. It can be tricky because sometimes the tenses are mixed within sentences and Roger will catch them even after I’ve gone through them twice or more!
Since most of us are fiction writers, I’ll use this example:
Detach goes to the edge of the lake where he takes a look into the deep black water. He sees his reflection and shivers. It reminded him of when he was a kid and nearly drowned. His legs stiffened, a surge of adrenaline raced through his veins.
Notice anything wrong?
Detach goes to the edge of the lake where he takes a look into the deep black water. He sees his reflection and shivers.
This is in present tense. It doesn’t match the next two sentences which are in past tense. It can’t be both ways!
Detach approached the edge of the lake and gazed at the deep black water. His reflection stared back up at him. The near drowning when he was a kid came back in a rush. A surge of adrenaline raced through his veins.
One of many ways to correct that problem.
This applies to separate paragraphs, scenes and chapters. My strong recommendation is to keep on tense throughout the novel, unless it is used for special effect. Maybe a letter or, of course, in dialogue, which breaks normal rules. Also, keep the change short and specific.
If you insist on writing a novel present tense, go ahead, just make the entire novel present tense (except for the special effects as noted above). Don’t slip where you shouldn’t. Consistency is the key!
Happy writing.
The Worlds Of Fred Rayworth 