SHOWING NOT TELLING REVISITED
This has not come up on a forum recently, but I was reminded of it during one of my paying it forward moments. This last ran in 2021 so it doesn’t hurt to bring it back. It’s slightly tweaked and updated, of course, for all you newbies to my site. It’s also a refresher for you old timers. These are my thoughts on show not tell.
INTRO
Show not tell.
Geez, I used to hate those words!
They were my nemeses, the curse of my writing existence, the Phoenix that carried me down in flames. For the longest time, I just didn’t get it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see or tell the difference between showing and telling. It’s taken years (decades now) to be able to notice the difference. I no longer get irritated when I hear those words because I realize how difficult it can be for a writer to recognize the concept, especially in the heat of creating. There used to be a commercial for Netflix back in the day where this woman told a character “Show, don’t tell” and I just wanted to slap her silly.
Showing and not telling seems almost like a contradiction in a story. After all, you as an author, are telling a story, right? Wrong! You are showing a story. As weird as it sounds, your job is to show a story, as much as possible. As hard as it may be to get your mind around this concept, well, at least it was for me, a story is a lot more interesting if it’s shown through words rather than told through words.
BRASS TACKS
The best way I can demonstrate that is by an example.
Mary went into the house and told Jane that there was something going on at the office and it creeped her out, but she didn’t know what to do about it. Jane at first, didn’t believe her, but after a bit of convincing, had to admit there may be something to what Mary was saying. They decided they should go back down there and check it out together.
What you have is a bit of narrative where the author is telling the reader about something that transpired. While there’s nothing outright wrong with that, besides being a bit passive, there’s a big problem that many authors cannot see right off. The entire paragraph is a bit tell. This is where I used to get into trouble all the time. I couldn’t see it for what it was. I was describing something that happened, but what I couldn’t see was that I was being lazy and not turning it into something more active. That’s what you, as an author, need to watch out for.
That paragraph needs to be shown. How do we do that? Instead of telling the reader what happened, turn it into dialogue and action. Make it happen in real time instead of something that happened in the past.
Mary barged through the door and faced Jane at the kitchen table. “There’s something going on at the office and it’s creeping me out. Scott keeps going in the back room and locking the door. He’s up to something.”
Jane shrugged. “He’s always up to something.”
“No, this is different.” Mary grabbed her shoulder. “Have you noticed how he looks at everyone lately? The way he smells? He has this gleam in his eye.”
“I…” Jane squirmed. “Now that you mention it, he does seem a little off.”
“Have you ever tried to go into that back room?”
“Well, no. Not lately.”
“I did yesterday.” Mary slapped the table. “Guess what he did? He practically bit my head off. Sheila from accounting heard him, too.”
Jane stood and grabbed her purse. “Maybe we’d better take a look for ourselves.” She glanced at the clock. “He’ll be gone for the next few hours.”
“I’ll drive.” Mary jiggled her keys.
Notice the difference? It is much longer, but it went from a boring and mundane paragraph telling the reader about something to a dynamic scene that showed the reader something.
Now for the tricky part. There’s nothing wrong with telling in a story. However, there’s a time and place for it. Telling should be kept to a minimum. When it’s possible to show it, show it instead. You’ll have a much better story that way.
A few more examples.
Ron was bored.
Oh…kay…so what? You’re telling the reader Ron was bored.
How about:
Ron yawned, tapped his foot, then rolled his eyes. He stood and paced, sat again, then tugged on his hair. “I can’t stand this!”
Now it shows Ron is bored.
The storm raged on.
This is a case where, depending on time and expediency, you could go from show to tell, depending on how necessary the more elaborate show is, versus, whether it’s needed or not.
The winds continued to blow, lightning flashed, rain fell in huge waves that flooded the streets.
How important is it to describe the storm, or is it just an aside to let the reader know something that was already described before?
This is a case where showing is okay since the telling has already been done…maybe ad nauseum.
SUMMARY
Show versus tell is always better for a more active story, but there is some discretion. There is a time and place for tell. If you’re a literary writer, in love with words, you can probably get away with more tell. However, if you’re an action-oriented writer, a commercial writer, then you need to get to the point right away.
Showing and not telling is essential to keep the writer engaged.
Happy writing!
BALANCING NARRATIVE, DIALOGUE, AND ACTION
This question has come up in various forms on the Facebook forums, but I’ve never specifically addressed it as a whole.
I was inspired by a book I just read and one I’m now struggling to get through. Perfect fodder.
To keep a reader from struggling through your tome, something needs to happen.
ACTION
I’m not necessarily doling this out based on the order in the title. I’ll start with action.
Something needs to happen to keep the reader engaged.
Let me repeat: Something needs to happen to keep the reader engaged.
A book with nothing but narrative description or dialogue can be a long and insufferable bore if nothing actually happens. All description does nothing but draw the background for the action. Dialogue must accomplish something and not just be a conversation.
Things need to happen to progress the story.
NARRATIVE
Okay, the narrative includes the description and action. While describing things is a key to give the reader a picture of the environment, characters, place, the action part keeps the story moving.
To me, description needs to be simple and effective. You don’t need to draw out the character’s life story in page after page where nothing actually happens. You need to describe things efficiently and effectively, not in excruciating detail.
The action needs to be blended in with all this so the story moves but doesn’t leave a blank. Too much action is just as bad as not enough.
DIALOGUE
Dialogue should not just be heads talking. The dialogue must accomplish something to move the story along. A little aside once in a while doesn’t hurt, as in giving the characters personality or banter, but it also has to progress the plot or it’s superfluous.
I recently read a first page that was all dialogue. Though the talking was okay, there was no sense of place, what the story was about, or who these characters were. It was a perfect example of what not to do.
I personally like to use dialogue, but have to keep in mind to balance it with the action and description.
While dialogue and action can be a bit more than description, you shouldn’t neglect describing things. However, do it with a sentence or paragraph, not with a page.
SUMMARY
Writing and showing/telling a story requires a balance to keep the reader engaged. It should not be what I’m suffering through in the book I’m currently reading. In fact, I got sixty pages and put it down. I’d had enough.
Think about that when you think of the books you couldn’t put down, or the ones you finished without even realizing time had passed. Those are the killer books out there!
Happy writing!
AS AN AUTHOR, DO YOU NEED A WEB SITE? REDUX
A question that comes up a lot on the forums is that as an author, do you need a web site? Since I originally posted this version in 2021, I’ve seen multiple questions on the Facebook forums about web sites. So, here it is again.
If you’re going to publish, it behooves you to establish a web site.
I’ve discussed this several times here at Fred Central, the latest as of 2021.
Web sites are relatively cheap, considering how much you’ll have to fork out for marketing.
What takes the time is having something to write about.
EVERY AUTHOR NEEDS A PLATFORM
The number one question every newbie asks is that if they have a web site, what do they put on it?
Good question!
If you bother to put up a web site, it should be more than just a place holder for your books.
Why?
Well…it’s going to get boring fast, especially before and in-between books.
There’s not going to be much to look at except maybe an occasional blurb about the book, the cover, or the “same ole same ole” thing Amazon or Barnes & Noble already posts for you. So, why should you go through the hassle to regurgitate that?
You need a platform (or agenda), something to attract readers and fans.
WHAT’S A PLATFORM?
While I’m repeating myself from earlier articles, I don’t mind going over it again.
A platform (sometimes called an agenda) is a subject that’s near and dear to your heart to attract readers between books.
It’s a way to keep them from forgetting you’re out there.
It’s also a way to engage and keep them interested.
A platform is usually, but not always, writing oriented, or of some subject somehow related to your book or books.
Say you write romances. Your platform could be something to do with romance.
Your book series could be fantasy. Your platform could be about medieval armor or fighting.
Your book or series could be westerns. Your platform could be about old-time western recipes.
My platform, as you can see, is about writing.
I’ve been doing it now since 2012 and post an article every Tuesday. I now have 671 articles out there. Admittedly my following is modest, but I don’t care. I’ll take what I can get. I love writing and will continue to do so. Some of you may have greater or lesser success. It’s up to you.
SUMMARY
As I like to say, creating a web site isn’t all that hard and there are numerous hosts you can choose. It’s not rocket science.
Use it wisely, Grasshopper.
Happy writing!
WHAT’S ANOTHER WORD FOR…
I’ve addressed this multiple times but figured a fresh approach, or as fresh as I can make it is warranted. I see this question asked all the time on the Facebook forums.
My usual answer is to figure it out for yourself so you own it. Neutral sources like a thesaurus, any book, or a list of some kind is to me a lot better than a suggestion from someone who may or may not expect anything in return.
I’m not a fan of asking the community, though it’s a legitimate course of action which may or may not be with baggage.
NAMES
In my many discussions on names, I’ve had a few solid sources. For real-world names, the phone book (if you can find one) is a good place to start. A baby names book is another. Then there’s just looking a bylines on some on-line articles for plenty of names. You can mix the names up to get something catchy or unusual. I have it easier since I’ve been around forever and have been exposed to hundreds of thousands of names. It doesn’t take me much to come up with something.
Now, for fantasy and some science fiction, it can get a bit trickier. You don’t want to have a fantasy series with Jeffs and Marys and Bobs and Dorothys. To come up with unique names it may be as simple as bastardizing a real name versus just throwing some letters together to see what comes out. There is always the old fantasy book standby and altering names from your favorite books as long as they’re different enough not to be a copy. Examples of mine are Queelan, Baldar, Niin, Meleena. I just made them up on the fly or derived them from my old D&D characters which I also named on the fly.
THINGS
In the real world, coming up with technical terms or any other is as simple as looking on Wikipedia or Google. You want a name for a religious ceremony. Look up religious ceremonies or such and comb for technical terms. In the real world, you have to stick with conventions so as not to get called out for technical errors.
I’ve seen a lot of questions about such and such ceremony (or whatever) in a cultural setting like Samurai, Native American, or some other culture that the book is based on. In that case, if you can get a clue from someone online, that’s great. However, there’s nothing wrong with researching the culture on your own, especially if you intend to base the book after it. Getting something incorrect might offend someone.
For fantasy and science fiction, as long as you’re not blatantly basing it on some real-world culture (where it’s obvious), the world is your oyster. A mishmash of things you’ve been exposed to works fine since you’re building this unique world. However, the key, especially with science fiction, is it still has to be technically correct (as in the science part). In fantasy, you can pretty much make up whatever you want as long as it makes sense, and you follow your own rules.
SUMMARY
You ever heard the term “there are a million ways to skin a cat”? When it comes to names of people and things, the same applies. The key is to apply your head.
Happy writing!
BREAK
After doing this since 2012, I decided it was okay to take a break for a few weeks. It’s not like I had a lot going on during the holidays, but not having to think of any new articles for a few weeks was a nice rest. Here in 2024 it’s time to get going again.
I LOVE TO WRITE
There’s no doubt I love to write but since I’ve had no particular ideas or feelings to get out, all I did during this time was do the final tweaks to an old/new short story I wrote called The UFO. It’s fiction but 75% true.
The UFO started as a short story a few years ago and I submitted it to our annual Henderson Writer’s Group anthology but it never made the cut. It was far enough back I lost the original critique e-mail results due to a new computer, so I had to rely on memory and a real fresh outlook. This time I also read (or maybe re-read) it to the writer’s group and got some great feedback. This I (mostly) incorporated into the story.
Outside of that, my prime writing came as Facebook posts.
Not a whole lot, but something.
IT DOESN’T HURT TO TAKE A BREAK
Taking a break doesn’t mean you’ve lost interest in writing. There’s no reason to create artificial deadlines to keep motivated, especially if you’re not on a publication schedule (which I’m not right now). A breather gives you a chance to ponder other ideas, new ideas, nothing at all.
A fresh take doesn’t hurt.
SUMMARY
DO NOT feel guilty about taking a break.
See you many times in the future.
Happy writing!
STARTING OVER
Sometimes you just have to admit whatever you’re doing isn’t working. You can toss it all and start over. Or, you can set it aside and start over. In either case, there may come a point when you’re not making progress, or what you’ve written isn’t what you expected.
IS STARTING OVER THE BEST IDEA?
First off, you shouldn’t be competing with yourself. If you’re in such a way that you feel compelled to finish whatever you started because you don’t want to waste the time, think of this. The longer you feed that bad idea, or bad start, the more likely your frustration is going to be magnified.
Maybe your idea just wasn’t meant to be. That’s no reflection on you. Anyone can have a false start or two. It doesn’t waste time, it’s a lesson on what not to do.
It’s far more productive to quit while you’re ahead.
Then again, making it a habit is not the best idea.
STARTING OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This should not be happening. If you start something, stop and start over again every time you sit down to work a project, you’re never going to get anywhere. Ever.
SOLUTION
The reason starting over usually occurs is back up at the top where I say an idea just isn’t working. The best way to avoid that is to plan.
Yes, planning sounds like plotting and it can be if you’re a plotter. If you’re a pantser, planning can also work.
MY STORY
It’s always best to lead by example and I have a few doozies for you. While I hadn’t thought about it in a long time (actually forgot until now), I also had a few false starts.
Why?
I never fully figured A, B and the title before I started writing. That’s why I advise to never start writing without a set plan. I’ve also seen it in plenty of other writers with as many of them as I’ve met over the years.
I started one idea for a chase story. The only thing I can recall was the hero’s ring tone was Smoke On The Water. Somewhere, I still have the start of that story archived. However, it wasn’t fully formed so I just dropped it and started over. In another case, I never started writing. I got the title right off and pondered multiple ideas, but never figured A and B so I also have an empty folder with the title and nothing to show for it.
False starts aren’t the end of the world. Never forming a complete idea before you start and not learning from that could be.
PRECIOUS TIME IS ONLY PRECIOUS WHEN YOU DON’T LEARN FROM IT
The whole idea of false starts and starting over is that you learn from it and learn not to waste your precious time. The better you get at planning, the more likely you’re going to finish. Does that mean that every idea is going to gel?
Once in a while, what sounded like a great idea doesn’t pan out in the writing process. In that case, save what you got and start over. You can always come back to it with a fresh outlook. Maybe you just didn’t see the light at the time.
SUMMARY
There’s no such thing as wasting time when you’re formulating ideas. Not every plot is going to be a winner. As long as every idea isn’t that way where it becomes a habit, you’re eventually going to strike gold.
Confidence comes with time and effort. You can always have self-doubt, but if you don’t let it get to you, eventually you’re going to succeed. If self-doubt is your focus, quit for a while and do something else. If writing is truly a passion, you won’t care whether other people will like it. You write for yourself. Eventually, through a false start or two, you’ll come up with a great idea that makes the whole process a pleasure instead of a frustrating mess.
Happy writing!
GOALS
I’ve written about this subject twice, in 2012 and 2019. The other day, I was reminded of it again for the same reasons and figured it’s time to do a redux.
While participating in multiple Facebook discussions, I came across the subject of goals in a writing group.
“What are your writing goals?”
That was the question of the day. I actually see it all the time, but I finally responded.
My original answer?
“My main goal is for the reader to know that my writing didn’t get in the way of the story and most of all, I want them to be able to close the book (the last page) with a big smile on their face. Can’t ask for more than that.”
In my original post, I forgot “the last page” but I think everyone will figure it out.
Since then, I’ve rethought things. Now I say “I don’t set goals, that’s not the way I work.”
GOALS
I immediately thought of the usual goals of making a living, going for max sales, or any of the mercenary business things one might think about in this quite often frustrating undertaking. I also thought of word count.
Why?
Well, for one, I’m a frustrated and failed musician who never really got much out of three decades of loving to play, but not being loved in return. While some people liked our stuff, the whole hassle and everything that went with it wasn’t all that artistically satisfying, especially when to even get heard, we were forced to play cover songs. That brings up another point that if we didn’t play them exactly like the record, we sucked. Given the thousands of dollars in gear and hours of practice, you can see the payoff for doing something we loved wasn’t all that inspiring, especially when we tried to sneak in an occasional song we wrote, or played a cover song the way we really wanted to.
Writing gave me a better outlet, one where at first, the idea of getting published and maybe striking lightning had a bit of appeal. After twenty years and 689 rejections, I was just too old to give a crap when I finally earned my first publishing contract. I do it for the love and passion of writing, which I already had from day one. Getting published always took a second seat to the love of creating stories.
In a nutshell, getting published and selling books was always a distant second or third to the pleasure of writing, editing and honing my craft. I figured if lightning ever struck one day, so be it. If not, I could live with that.
I got published, but it wasn’t exactly lightning striking. It was hard earned. As of right now, I’m not exactly setting the world on fire.
On the other hand, I’ve made a small group of fans.
In that way, I’ve already reached both of my goals, and continue to do so every time someone new reads one of my books. I have the potential to make a lot of new fans. There are some that will never like my stuff, of course. So what? Apples, oranges. For the ones that do, they’re my legacy.
Folks, I’ve reached my goals. Of course, I’d like to reach a wider audience, but will it ever happen? Maybe one day.
MOTIVATION
My change of answer was because of the context of the question. It was presented like goals were there for motivation, to keep one writing.
In that case my answer is different in that I don’t really set goals anymore. I don’t have to. I don’t need some artificial word count number, or other motivational goalpost to keep me writing. I write because I have to, I love it, and don’t need any of that to keep me motivated. It’s self-propagating.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
What are your goals?
Are you out to create art, get paid, gain popularity, or a bit of all three? Or, like me, do you just love it and do it when you feel like it, but still get things done?
We’ve once had a speaker at our writers group, and his main goal was to make money. Of course, he could do it in a thousand other ways, but he chose writing because he loves to write. He just had a different approach to the medium. There’s art, of course, but the main goal for him was to make a living.
I understand and wish him the best. Funny, I don’t hear much about him anymore.
I, on the other hand, have a real job and have no plans to quit anytime soon.
If my books finally take off by some quirk of fate, or maybe because people just wake up to my writing, so be it. I still probably won’t quit my job. We’ll see.
What are you after?
Many I’ve talked to just write as a hobby. They get frustrated with all that’s involved. A good many of these people got into this to do a memoir. A one-and-done. After that? A lot of them lose interest and move on to some other less complicated hobby.
Then there are those where writing is a passion. They write all the time, so doing novels or short stories is part of their DNA. If you’re one of them, are you young enough to consider this a career? Are you mercenary enough to have both? Can you have both art AND business acumen to be a success? Are you willing to make artistic sacrifices to make a living rather than write from the heart?
Goals are great motivators. If you don’t have any, you may wallow in indecision and never complete anything. Even if you have your plot mapped out, or are a pantser, and have A and B already set, if you don’t have a particular goal in mind, separate from whatever plot the book might have, guess what?
Procrastination sets in.
You’ll be spending more time on Facebook or being distracted by roadblocks than doing any actual writing every time you sit down at the computer.
You’ll talk a lot about your story and what you’re going to do, but without an actual solid goal, you may never actually get there. That great story with the great plot will never get finished.
SUMMARY
Either you need goals, or you don’t, depending on your relationship with writing. If you use them, your goals should be well-defined. I don’t use goals anymore – don’t need to. Yet, underneath it all, they’ve been the same from ever since I wrote The End on that original draft of The Cave, my first-ever novel. Once I figured out I could do it, I never looked back. Getting published has always been in the background, but never front and center compared to just writing the best I can, when I want to, and creating stories that’ll put a big smile on the reader’s face. Can’t ask for more than that.
Happy writing!
PLOTTING
While I’ve alluded to plotting many times, I’ve never specifically addressed it as the prime subject. I want to remedy that.
WHAT IS THE PLOT?
The plot is the entire reason for the book. It’s the problem and the solution to whatever predicament the main character is in.
SEVEN TYPES OF PLOTS
Here are the basic seven (some say nine, but I don’t have them all) plots:
- Rags to Riches: The MC loses a fortune (or never has one in the first place) and earns it by the end of the book.
- The Quest: The MC must travel to a location, look for some object, obtain it, and prevail in the end.
- Rebirth: Usually involving religion but can be otherwise. Character goes through trials and tribulations. In the end, realizes “whatever” and is reborn.
- Overcoming the Monster: Pretty much self-explanatory.
- Comedy: Another pretty self-explanatory.
- Tragedy: Mirror image of comedy. Character undone by a character flaw or by cruelty of fate.
- Voyage and Return: Similar to The Quest except there is no particular McGuffin in the mix.
WHICH PLOT DO YOU LIKE?
Most authors favor one particular plot or a variation (a mix). It especially works well with a series. Pretty much all the books in the series will have the same plot with variations.
Some of you may want to mix plots and come up with a new one. However, boiling it down, it’ll still end up one of those seven in one form or another.
GETTING THERE
Nobody should ever start writing a novel with no plot in sight. Hoping to hit a revelation midway through the book is going to result in chaos and something that doesn’t make sense.
Plotter: In this case, you map everything out ahead of time. Outline enough specific details so that when you actually start writing, you have a pattern to follow. Your plot should already be there, and an outline may help determine if there are flaws.
Pantser: The pantser knows where to start and where to end. Everything in the middle is a surprise and should all be focused toward the end goal.
ME
I’m a pantser and my methodology is simple. I figure the title (some subject), the beginning (A) and the ending (B). That’s it. The plot is right there, waiting for the twists and turns and maybe some misdirection to make it unique.
SUMMARY
Whatever method, whatever plot, it’s essential you figure that out before you put any effort into the actual writing.
You’ll be better off.
Happy writing!
A SUCCESSFUL BOOK SIGNING
To many, like me, marketing is the worst part of publishing a book. I love every aspect of the process except the marketing. Then again, there are times when the marketing part has its benefits, such as with a successful book signing event.
This just happened to me so while I don’t always sell, I always have fun.
THE EVENT
We set up at the Enterprise library (or as I call it, wyberry) at about 9:45, and got ready for the crowd to swoop in. Ha ha.
For these library events, the setup circumstances differ from one to the next. We were allowed banners. Since I have two, and given the space available, I only opted to set up one, Meleena Treasure of The Umbrunna. My table mate, a very nice Korean lady, offered to let me use some of her space for the second banner, I just didn’t want to do that.
I was greased and ready to kick ass once the time arrived.
SITTING THERE…
The majority of the event was networking with other authors, especially my table mate. I watched her sell a few books which was nice but as for myself, I only had a few inquiries while one young girl was interested in Treasure but picked it up and thought it was free! I told her the price and she disappeared back into the library to ask her mom for some money, but I guess that didn’t work out because she never returned. Oh well…
After a while, given how slow it was, we started watching the clock. While I don’t mind sitting around and networking, when it’s three hours, it can get a bit much!
ALMOST TIME TO PACK UP
Much to my surprise, two ladies, schoolteachers, showed up and came right to me. They said they did their research beforehand and almost didn’t make it in time. I was kind of floored that they looked me up. The first one wanted Treasure but when I told her the price for the pair (including Gods), she said why not? The second lady was interested in the Gold series and bought both books at once.
I could almost say I got writer’s cramp signing four books at once!
YOU NEVER KNOW
This proves that you never know what’ll happen at a book signing. I’ve sold, given away, and traded books at various events. Now that I’m selling each series as a discounted set, I seem to be doing better selling multiple books. In this case, with barely fifteen minutes to go, I scored big. I’ll take it as a huge win!
SUMMARY
While these events can be excruciating, especially for first-timers, the key is patience. Take any of it as a win, whether you sell or not. Networking with other authors is a win too.
Happy writing!
The Worlds Of Fred Rayworth 